Your Soul-Sucking Job: Is It Worth the Price You’re Paying? 3 Steps to Making the Changes You Need to Save Your Soul

Your Soul-Sucking Job:  Is It Worth the Price You’re Paying?
3 Steps to Making the Changes You Need to Save Your Soul

By Tracy O’Brien

You need the paycheck – you’ve got mouths to feed, clothes to buy, school to pay for, a roof to keep over your heads.  But day by day, little by little, you feel your energy, your ability to keep treading water, draining away.  This career is sucking your soul dry, sucking the very life and joie de vivre out of you, but you feel like you can’t let it go.  Times and the economy are too uncertain to let go of “a sure thing”.  So what can you do?  And is it really worth making the effort to change course?

I was in this position awhile back.  My real estate investment corporation and my café where both failing, as was my health.  It was all on a downward spiral that was picking up speed.

The problem was that I was doing things that I wasn’t enjoying.  For me to effectively manage my properties, I was trying to be someone I wasn’t – hardnosed and aggressive.  Just the mental strain of dealing with people who were looking to rip me off was wearing on my health.  Hiring a property manager felt like failure, like I was admitting that I was inadequate.

It took far too long to get it through my head that I was merely working in a field that wasn’t congruent with my strengths, with my gifts and talents.  As Callan Rush says, “Not my genius, not my job.”  So I hired a property manager whose personality and gifts were in this area, and opened myself up to asking what direction I should go in now.  I love helping people and my gifting is in teaching.  But the traditional classroom wasn’t my venue.  That much I knew!

It was a December day when I casually said to God, “I love studying human potential and I love helping and teaching.  It would be great if there was a way that I could make money doing that.”  I had no idea what such a career would look like, so I just left it at that and concentrated on picking up the pieces of my failing businesses and shattered health.

About 2 weeks later, I was invited to a free tele-seminar, and when the speaker said, “Are you ready for life to get a whole lot easier?”, you can imagine my response!  Life had always been a monumental struggle, and I was more than ready to learn a way to have my dreams and not kill myself to get there.  I already knew hard work alone wasn’t doing it for me.  I’m willing to bet it isn’t getting you all that your heart desires, either.

Two weeks into this course, my health and my finances were drastically improved.  I rediscovered what I already knew, that wealth is first and foremost a state of mind.  Somehow, in all the craziness of divorcing and rebuilding myself and my life, I had lost track of the success principles I had studied for so long.  The busyness of my life overwhelmed what I had once had a good grasp on.

I knew I had found what would make my heart sing every day, and I saw how powerfully transformative the courses were, so I invested money I didn’t have to take the training to be certified to teach the courses.  Now I live my bliss every day.

I want to unpack my story for you, so you can see how it can help you to transform your life.
The first step that needed to happen was the realization that life wasn’t working.  It was obvious, but I was stubbornly, doggedly trying to make it work.  I was so caught up in the everyday drive to get things done, that I wasn’t leaving any room for crucial thinking about how to make a change.  I finally faced the truth of what Einstein said – “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result.” If this is ringing a bell for you, hang in there with me.

The second step was that I identified what I enjoyed.  If you don’t know for sure what you’d like doing, why not investigate some options?  Volunteer at a place that you think would be a suitable career for you.  Look into job shadowing, talk to people who have been doing it for awhile and get an inside look at what they do.  Try it out part-time for now.  You’ll soon get some insight into whether you’d enjoy it or not.

What is important is that you start doing what gives you life.  Just doing the “daily grind” really will grind you down and destroy your health.  If what you love really can’t be monetized, what about a career that you could at least enjoy and make doing what you love a sacred appointment that you give to yourself?

The third step was to start taking care of myself.
Let’s face it, ladies.  We give so much to so many that we are neglecting ourselves.  My partner has gotten in my face many times over this.  He has repeatedly told me, “Honey, if you go down, it all goes down!  We need you to take care of yourself!”

So, Superwoman, how do you do this?
For starters, how about letting go of the Superwoman moniker.  You are not, nor should you be trying to be, Superwoman.  This not only burns you out, but your kids don’t get the chance to learn valuable life skills, like cooking and cleaning and managing a household.  I cannot tell you how many tenants I’ve come across who haven’t a clue how to manage even the bare essentials of life.
I know it will take some time and effort to teach your kids, but it will also take a load off of you when they can take over doing those basic chores.  I teach my clients how to get their kids to cooperate with a variety of methods, but we only have room for one here.

Let your kids know how much you need their help.  Let them see into your world a little, into the pressures you face.  Show them how much it would help to have them do this for you, what it would mean to you.  Attach a benefit for them, at least at first.  Do this, and we can go and get ice cream or go to the park or whatever you know would motivate them.  No cooperation results in loss of privileges – and make sure it stings!  If you take away something that won’t upset them, it has no teeth.

But this needs to go beyond behaviour modification techniques.  That will only go so far.  Kids need to have the satisfaction of making a contribution.  How will they learn to be productive, contributing members of society if they never learn this at home?  When I praised my kids for the wonderful job they did, be it cooking, or laundry, or dusting, they felt great.  When they feel great about something they did, they want to experience that praise again.  They need to experience the pride of a job well done.  It’s powerful motivation.

Now, start making you a priority.  Explain to your family, to your significant other, that you’re bone weary and need more help so you don’t wind up sick.  Ask for more help!  Men don’t generally even notice what needs to be done in the home, but are willing to help when asked.  “Just tell me what you need” is a common refrain from men.

Your man, if he cares at all about you, should be happy to help if you ask him in a non-complaining, “Honey, I need your muscles” kind of way.  And just like your kids, some sincere praise and appreciation goes a long way here.  If he knows that his helping out gives you the extra energy you need for later on…, that will get his attention!

Now go and do something that gives you life, that you enjoy, that feeds your soul.  And do it without the guilt!!  Why should you be the only one who doesn’t get to have a life?  If you don’t have a life outside of serving everyone else, soon you won’t have a life at all.  No one can give non-stop without burning out or becoming extremely resentful.

You were designed to need rest and relaxation.  Do your world a favor and give you what you need.  You’ll come back to your world refreshed, with new vigor and ideas and energy to give to the ones you love.  Our role in this world is too vital for us to go down in flames and sickness and depression.  Rise up, o woman of influence, and give your kids the best example of a balanced, happy life that you can.  They need to see you relaxing and enjoying life.  And you need it for you.

I am the proud mother of 3 girls and one son who has gone Home, host of Making It radio show, heard on radio, author of the upcoming book Change The Hand You’ve Been Dealt, CEO of Tuwanda Corp., and CEO of O’Brien Prosperity System, a coaching company that takes clients from stressed and struggling to relaxed prosperity in every area of life.

When I found myself at age 42 going through a divorce, I had to redefine myself and redesign my life.  I needed something that I could fit into my hectic schedule that would lead me into the life I wanted to have.  I found a time-tested system for getting what I want out of life, used it, and had such great results I decided to combine it with my own 30+ years of studying human potential and teach it to others.


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