Mother’s Day: What Are We Really Celebrating?

Mother’s Day is a holiday I’ve long thought of as a day easily forgotten and not particularly worthy of celebrating. I often call my mother anyway and usually try to call her on Mother’s Day too, but that’s about it. When I became a mother, it was a sort of fun shock to realize I could get celebrated on Mother’s Day and yet I still didn’t do much with it. I wrote it off as consumeristic holiday designed to sell greeting cards, flower bouquets, and going out to brunch.

My views are changing.

This year I’ve had the sweet experience of connecting with the earth as part of a daily self-care practice. I’m noticing how everything I see comes from the earth and everything I see will eventually return to the earth. I feel how the earth holds me unconditionally; it doesn’t discriminate based on whether I’ve been good or productive. mothersday.001As I’ve deepened my connection with the land under my feet, I’ve also deepened my appreciation for women and mothers. Each person I see around me came from a mother who, at best, loved and held them when they made mistakes as well as when they succeeded and helped them learn from both.

Mothers are amazing. Becoming a mother is life changing. The work we do in the world and our very existence are worth celebrating. Without mothers, you and I and every other human would not be here.

If you let in the magnitude of those sentences, you may want to celebrate too. But how? What sort of celebration recognizes the magnitude of motherhood? Read on to find out how to create your own amazing, low cost, and fulfilling celebration.
Create an Amazing Celebration

The five steps outlined below will take you on a journey through your mothering past, present, and future. Then they will help you pull it together and celebrate. “Complete the sentences” are there as suggestions for each step.

Step 1: Take a trip down memory lane. Write about what you imagined your life as a mother would be like. When you were a child, what did you imagine? When you were a young woman, how had your goals, values, and dreams changed? When you found out you were pregnant, how did you think motherhood would change you and your life?
Complete the sentences:
• When I was little I thought motherhood would be….
• As a young woman, I imagined motherhood feeling like…
• When I discovered I was pregnant, I ….

Step 2: Deepen your connection to the present moment. What is your life like now? Where are you satisfied and where would you like to make changes? What is joyful in your daily world? What brings nagging pain or frustration? Write down your answers, speak them into a smart phone, or create art to express your present experience of motherhood. The more honest you allow yourself to be, the more significant this step will be.
Complete the sentences:
• What I love about mothering is…
• When I yell or get depressed about mothering, I’m thinking…
• I expected motherhood to be_________ but it’s really _______.

Step 3: Project into the future. What do you want in the future? Think of tangible things like how many children or grandchildren you’d like, what kind of home, and what sort of job. Think of intangible things like how you want to feel, how you want to speak to yourself and others, and how you want to think about your life. What are your values and how do you want to carry them forward into the future?
Complete the sentences:
• When I think about myself in the future, I see…
• I want to create _______for my children and myself.
• I value ______ and want to manifest _______.

Step 4: Compile and review. You’re going to pull together the first three steps into a coherent narrative. It does not have to be smooth or polished. In fact, your raw honesty will make the finished product much better. You can choose a variety of formats. My favorite is to imagine I’m writing a letter to my adult children, to my self, or to a friendly coach or therapist.
Complete the sentences:
• What I want you to know about me is …
• I’d like your help to create …
• I’m nervous to share this but …

Step 5: Have a party. Now that you have your brainstorms about your past, present and future you can have a meaningful celebration at which you share them. And each time you read them out loud and hear your own truth, you reinforce your value as a mother, your right to be happy and live your values, and the magnitude of this journey we call mothering.

Who you share your insights with depends on the outcome you want to create. Sharing them with your partner can create more intimacy and understanding between the two of you. Sharing them with your family can create more connection and support, especially if you tend to have different parenting styles. Sharing them with your friends and women’s groups can help you have more empathy and accountability in those relationships.
Be aware before you start sharing your truth can be challenging for people because it causes them to question their own lives, assumptions, and beliefs. Sometimes there is more stress before you see the breakthrough to more understanding in the relationship. If that happens, getting support can help.

You are likely to encounter joy, sadness and perhaps some surprising realizations as you go through these processes. Take your time and enjoy them. You can do all of this on or just before Mother’s Day. You can also take your time and slowly go through these steps over days or weeks. The celebration will deepen with some repetition and new discoveries each year.

About the Author: Kassandra Brown is a parent coach, mother, and lover of authentic living. She lives at Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage where she is creating a green, sustainable business supporting parents over phone and Skype. To learn more and request a free consultation, visit

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